Today I wanted to die. Why can’t death just be simple? Time and time again I struggle for the will to live. And no one hears my silent screams. I don’t want sympathy or people pretending to care. I want to feel alive. How do you want to live, yet want to die? Hoping one day I can be normal. Do I ever want to really be normal? Because normal people suck. I just want to stop fighting for peace. What an oxymoron fighting for peace.
I feel as if I have two bodies inside me. They constantly battle with one another. The good one is more prominent, but when the bad one comes out, she always wins. She is most powerful. Has total control. I just need time for her to go back to sleep.
She was here today and stronger than ever. I stood on that line, contemplating, searching frantically for the slightest reason to stay. She finally let go of me. And now, I await her return