I Surrender

I surrender. I surrender my time, my money, my work my relationships, my family. I surrender my life. I give it all over to God now. I realize that I can’t do it alone. All my life I’ve struggled and a lot of the pain I’ve endured, that my kids endured, was due to my unwillingness to ask for help. Who wants to appear weak? I’m strong! Right?
But it was people that I didn’t want help from. Humans can’t be trusted. At least not the ones I have manifested into my life. But I never considered asking for help from the one above, the only one that could possibly help me. God.. the one that has been with me since the beginning. The one that has always held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own .. the one that listened to my pleas and heard my cries for help.
He was there the whole time and I never even noticed…I never let him in. how could I not have recognized this? How could I ever have put him on the back burner while I lived my life? Why did I not give Him the credit for every blessing in my life as well as every heartache. Isn’t pain the way we learn to heal? I mean how can we experience life without ever feeling death? And how can we enjoy the light if we never lived in the dark?

My eyes are open now. I can see beyond the dark clouds. Beyond the tears, beyond the hurt.. and I surrender. I surrender it all! I allow God to take lead in my life now. I allow God to take the reigns in every single aspect of my life.. I’ve tried to lead my own way for 43 years and from the mouth of Dr. PHIL, where has that gotten me?

I am done. And it feels good to let it all go. The burden is gone. From this moment on, I will allow God to guide my steps. I will allow God to give me the words to speak, to allow me to hear the things I need to hear and see the things I need to see. God is love, and I will give love to everyone I encounter. I will show love, even to those that my ego would say didn’t deserve it. I will leave a glowing trail of love and forgiveness in order to light up the path for those behind me.

This is my promise. This is my prayer. God, it is all in your hands now. I surrender!